Wow, what a great Valentine’s Day gift it would be, but seriously is that ménage à trois better off kept as a fantasy or is three to a bed really as hot as it seems? In this no-holds barred article we reveal the truth about threesomes, ask whether it is right for you as a couple and give you essential tips on how to make it a truly fabulous and unforgettable experience if you do extend the invitation…
The whole truth, and nothing but the truth
According to a Cosmopolitan survey, it’s still the number one fantasy among 33% of the male population (although we must add that 25% of men weren’t interested at all in that extra person in the bedroom scenario), yet less than 10% of women have had one, but what is the truth about threesomes?
Every image of a threesome, either the glossy ones from the silver screen or the downright dirty ones from RedTube and the like, is portrayed as the ultimate couples sex fantasy, but in reality there are a lot factors that make threesomes not so hot. For starters, it is nothing like porn and the logistics of having three people (or more) in the bed can make things pretty complicated. Pairing off is also a very real threat, and if it’s you and your partner enjoying each other’s company a little too much it’s fine but if you are the one left out in the cold, it can be a rather disheartening experience.
While there are many pros to these cons – for instance, threesomes are pretty darn exciting – many couples across the globe prefer third-wheel-less couple swapping, group sex encounters and orgies.
Is a threesome right for us?
There are a variety of warning signs that say you and your partner should just say “no” to a threesome, here are just a few:
- If you or your partner are very jealous people then chances are a threesome won’t bring you closer together.
- If you have romantic feelings for the person joining you, and worst still your partner knows.
- If you are considering having a three way with your best friend or someone you know really well – even having a threesome with the guy or girl you see at the supermarket once a month will be an encounter you want to avoid post-coitus.
If all of the statements above apply to you then it may be best to stick with the chocolates and flowers come Valentine’s.
How to guarantee a hot (hot) threesome
Having a threesome as a couple is always about setting a few ground rules, after all there are so many stories about relationships coming to sticky (not in a good way) ends following that introduction of a third person. If done correctly however, threesomes are one bucket list item that you’ll never forget ticking off.
Here are our golden rules…
- Choose your third wheel wisely – strike the right balance between finding someone you are both attracted to and is attracted to you AND will have no-strings sex.
- Set clear boundaries and if you’re unsure whether something is ok during, ask permission.
- Remember to laugh – it’s the perfect way to minimise the awkwardness that will almost certainly arise.
- Avoid third wheeling – keep everyone involved at all times, and never, ever pair off
- Always stay safe – whatever the terms or your choice of partners, protect yourself and switch condoms when performing different sex acts and enjoying each partner.
- Never let the third person stay over – two words: morning, awkward.